This course introduces the field of pastoral counseling and shows how to integrate therapeutic principles with religious experience to foster a high standard of care for pastoral counseling… The course will emphasize the basic skills, principles, and processes of pastoral counseling,…
Thursday 9 July 2015
Pastoral Self Care
Interact with the following sources and give your impression or what you have learnt.
PASTORAL SELF CARE # I have learnt that there is a great rise in ministry stress, the long day and nights pastors always on call for the many different reason which cause them to work excessively for longer hour, this can cause family problem itf they don't have understanding and supportive wives, i do not see the life of ministry as being hazardous, i see it as a plus to serve their God. but as ministers one need to take sometime off and spend it with their family; because of the ministry demands many of the ministers out there are not trained properly to cope with life stress and problems; and as far as for their sexual behavior in the churches that is now rampant and for the &0% of pastors who don't have a close friend I certainly don't believe that Pastors are always mixing with each other and will surly have confidence with someone else.if this is so it might be a meager 5 or 10% of these
This is all so true although they seem to be very active some of them are obese many suffers from hypertension, depression and many young ministers are dying this is a lack of their eating habit, eating junk food, there are many of them that like their jobs and won't give it up for nothing because of the love of God. Especially the elders this might be a meager percentage of 10% pastors and pastors do get angry with their wives and over their spouses career and yes i do under the symptom i do suffer with a little dizziness at times.
there is some very interesting things I learnt from this paper, 1. One of the symptoms that cause people to be burnt out is coffee which iIhave never realised 2. I love this as women we must be able to say no and stop pretending to be heroes, people should always ask for help in ministry this work is tedious help should be given 3. Ministers should always realise when they are getting burnout I carefully looked at this stage of burnout I never know high energy high hope unrealistic expectation are related to burn out issues.
Quintina - Was it the coffee that caused the burnout or the use of coffee to aid with the burn out. Some people function better after having coffee. It is like a stimulant
This is so, so, true of the self care list of many Pastors and other in ministry, they experience stress and burnout many times, the reason is their lie is unbalance I see this of pastors ministers, and even counselors, as people in this tight work field we should learn how to manage our time, I believe time management should be taught for a course in this area for pastors , ministers, and all those that are heavily involved in ministry regarding our family time as important, God first family time 2nd SEEKING HELP: the paragraph states "pastors are in a profession of helping others people who are in a helping profession often the last to seek help for themselves rightly said and they just like any other family has the right to be human
ABC OF PASTORAL CARE Great information by Dr Kirt Fredrickson How do we take care of ourselves he used the A..B.C self care 1. A-bide, and get connected to God 2. B-reathe - having one day that is different in the week one day praying an playing 3, C-onnect to God
Quintina – Self Care 1 I can believe that 80% believe that their ministry affects their family negatively. Although culture has a lot to do with family relationship, I think that figure is exaggerated. It is true that many ministers are not adequately trained for the ministry, especially when most of them don’t want to share the responsibilities. I have heard and personally know of experiences of pastors involved in sexual behaviour and their wife is present in the congregation (that is just sick). Ministers don’t have even a close friend! They always go fishing or gulf. 70% having less self-esteem; they don’t behave or look that way. Ministers health at risk: sound right, because many of them over eat and unhealthy to. They have money to spend and use it unwisely. Many of them suffer from hypertension and depression, because of double standard living. I have seen pastor anger towards spouse, because their wives are sometimes insecure. Wiives are also aware of wrong doing by their husbands and this cause rift between them. I have seen it. I agree that finding purpose and meaning in work is important and also important to practice exercise, proper nutrition and sleep.
Quintina – Self Care 2 Creating connection with God, less burnout is absolutely necessary, because it God’s people and God’s work. I also agree that factors outside of faith are driving many to burnout. Confusion of role identity with self- image – derive too much self-esteem from what they do. Self-esteem should come from what God has done. Administration overload – is this in relation to church management, if so share the burden, seek wisdom. Solomon had a dynasty, yet he found so much time to indulge in wine, woman and ungodly practice. Seek wisdom. This one was troubling, Depersonalization – development of negative and uncaring attitude towards others. Is this why so many pastors behave this way! Pastor Prince, every pastor should read this. Something must be done. This is mind bothering. All pastors, leaders, people of God and professional should respect the temple o f God- Taking care of body, soul, mind, soul and spirit has now become critical.
Quintina – Self Care 3 What was significant from this reading was the information concerning pastor’s wife and children who have to display such high standards which are often expected. For many years a bad precedent has been set. I don’t know by whom; however people both inside and outside of the church scrutinize pastor’s family, especially children and expect such high standards. I agree that congregation should not expect more or less than any other member of the congregation. Remember is an office the person holds. Their families are not children of the office, but the person.
Quintina – Self Care 4 The video was very informative and realistic. I learned that the very nature of ministry means that there would be conflict along the way. Conflict + depletion + isolation = trouble. Conflict one will always have, but depletion and isolation must be addressed. The strategy of the use of the ABC’s (Abide, Breathe, and Connect) was beneficial. Spent time to connect with the Lord and His word is absolutely necessary. This is an essential part of pastoring. Having a Sabbath is necessary for everyone, especially pastors. Connecting with people, having friends who can pray, who love the pastor, one who the pastor can vent his feeling to, people who can speak though things into pastors live (member can do this, pastors are to big headed). They would need other pastors. I believe a pastor can have a fisherman as a friend; probably he can take his mind away from church and learn about fishes or fishing. My former pastor gets his relaxation on the sea. He always talks about his fishing friend and he is not a pastor. In all I think pastors need to have friends and support group.
I would also like to add to this article’s recommendations. Too often young professionals are encouraged to pursue career accomplishments and milestones while young without sufficient consideration for individual context. Eccl 12:1 advises us to remember the Creator in our youth because it will be more troubling to do this later on. I find the push for promotion often drags the family in the wake of the sailing ship. Protecting Privacy. I have preferred to live nearer to where we fellowship because it helps us to integrate our lives. Now I would caution myself against this because I do have a tendency to delimit engagements outside of family time. I also need to note my use of family illustrations and look away from using jokes about members.
Self Care 3 A pastor's wife and children are not the ones called to office is the Pastor.The church requires to to much from the pastors children ,they also expect the wife to lead a lot of the ministries in the church.Their children are normal children and have lives to live ,to much pressure from the church sometimes causes the pastors children to fall away.Pastors must priorities things to avoid neglecting their families.These five principles are very important 1. Reserving Family Time. 2.Clarity Expectations. 3. Building Friendship 4. Seeking Help. 5.Protecting Privacy this is very important people should not go to the pastors home anytime they feel like it .Pastors have a life beyond church.
Self Care 3 A pastor's wife and children are not the ones called to office is the Pastor.The church requires to to much from the pastors children ,they also expect the wife to lead a lot of the ministries in the church.Their children are normal children and have lives to live ,to much pressure from the church sometimes causes the pastors children to fall away.Pastors must priorities things to avoid neglecting their families.These five principles are very important 1. Reserving Family Time. 2.Clarity Expectations. 3. Building Friendship 4. Seeking Help. 5.Protecting Privacy this is very important people should not go to the pastors home anytime they feel like it .Pastors have a life beyond church.
Self Care is vitally important in life and Ministry.We need to get adequate rest to refuel our bodies ,we cannot function in full if our bodies are not healthy.The work must be shared.Plenty hands makes the work load lighter.
Ministry Stress in my little experience in Ministry in the Church i felt a lot like the 90% at times.Due to the fact that a lot is not being done to train people but the demand is high.I have learnt in all you do you must strike a balance.This helps us to remain focus .Sometimes we have to slow down and realize church work is not a one man job.There must be a balance with Ministry,Life and Family.
Pastoral Self Care # 4 was excellent. It highlighted the fact that because Pastors are under pressure both internally and externally, it can lead to fatigue, frustration and burn out. Interestingly, the presenter indicated that conflict, depletion and isolation can lead to trouble or disaster for the pastor. As, a consequence he recommended the ABC approach which is abide, breathe and connect. This is crucial because as Pastors, it is necessary to spend quality time with God for personal development. It is improtant to take one day per week to rest and recharge oneself. Finally, Pastors also face challenges in life and as a result, it is imperative that he or she be able to rely on others to pray and encourage him or her in the Lord.
Ministry stress was quite interesting and it allowed me to understand some of the pastors I have encountered in the past. I am also able to understand why their families were dysfunctional. They did not recognise that they were not to try to do everything themselves and their family was not viewed as a priority. Because of this they experienced what I can now see is burnout.
I like Fredrickson's method to help pastors avoid trouble. According to Peterson, pastors are in trouble when they experience conflict, isolation and depletion. However Fredrickson states that conflict will always be there but isolation and depletion can be dealt with using the ABC approach thus helping the pastor to avoid trouble. The pastor must abide in the Word and get to know Jesus better. He must breathe or take a day off to as Peterson puts it to pray and play. Lastly the pastor must connect with family and friends. He or she must spend time with people who will be honest with them. This self care suggestion is one pastors will do well to heed.
The order in ministry is God 1st, family 2nd and everything else after. However, many ministers change the order and what should be last becomes their 1st priority. Sometimes their family is not even considered. They try to do for themselves what only God can do. They fail to set boundaries which is to their detriment. They create a culture of dependency which inflates their ego so that they can get to the point on believing they don't need help. They arrive at a place where it is more about them than God but they believe they are successful.
PASTORAL SELF CARE # I have learnt that there is a great rise in ministry stress, the long day and nights pastors always on call for the many different reason which cause them to work excessively for longer hour, this can cause family problem itf they don't have understanding and supportive wives, i do not see the life of ministry as being hazardous, i see it as a plus to serve their God. but as ministers one need to take sometime off and spend it with their family; because of the ministry demands many of the ministers out there are not trained properly to cope with life stress and problems; and as far as for their sexual behavior in the churches that is now rampant and for the &0% of pastors who don't have a close friend I certainly don't believe that Pastors are always mixing with each other and will surly have confidence with someone else.if this is so it might be a meager 5 or 10% of these
ReplyDeleteMINISTERS AND RISK -HEALTH
ReplyDeleteThis is all so true although they seem to be very active some of them are obese many suffers from hypertension, depression and many young ministers are dying this is a lack of their eating habit, eating junk food, there are many of them that like their jobs and won't give it up for nothing because of the love of God. Especially the elders this might be a meager percentage of 10% pastors and pastors do get angry with their wives and over their spouses career and yes i do under the symptom i do suffer with a little dizziness at times.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSelf Care: Preventing Burnout in Ministers
ReplyDeletethere is some very interesting things I learnt from this paper,
1. One of the symptoms that cause people to be burnt out is coffee which iIhave never realised
2. I love this as women we must be able to say no and stop pretending to be heroes, people should always ask for help in ministry this work is tedious help should be given
3. Ministers should always realise when they are getting burnout I carefully looked at this stage of burnout I never know high energy high hope unrealistic expectation are related to burn out issues.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteQuintina - Was it the coffee that caused the burnout or the use of coffee to aid with the burn out. Some people function better after having coffee. It is like a stimulant
DeleteSelf Care List:
ReplyDeleteThis is so, so, true of the self care list of many Pastors and other in ministry, they experience stress and burnout many times, the reason is their lie is unbalance I see this of pastors ministers, and even counselors, as people in this tight work field we should learn how to manage our time, I believe time management should be taught for a course in this area for pastors , ministers, and all those that are heavily involved in ministry regarding our family time as important, God first family time 2nd SEEKING HELP: the paragraph states "pastors are in a profession of helping others people who are in a helping profession often the last to seek help for themselves rightly said and they just like any other family has the right to be human
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteABC OF PASTORAL CARE
ReplyDeleteGreat information by Dr Kirt Fredrickson
How do we take care of ourselves he used the A..B.C self care
1. A-bide, and get connected to God
2. B-reathe - having one day that is different in the week one day praying an playing
3, C-onnect to God
Quintina – Self Care 1
ReplyDeleteI can believe that 80% believe that their ministry affects their family negatively. Although culture has a lot to do with family relationship, I think that figure is exaggerated. It is true that many ministers are not adequately trained for the ministry, especially when most of them don’t want to share the responsibilities. I have heard and personally know of experiences of pastors involved in sexual behaviour and their wife is present in the congregation (that is just sick). Ministers don’t have even a close friend! They always go fishing or gulf. 70% having less self-esteem; they don’t behave or look that way. Ministers health at risk: sound right, because many of them over eat and unhealthy to. They have money to spend and use it unwisely. Many of them suffer from hypertension and depression, because of double standard living. I have seen pastor anger towards spouse, because their wives are sometimes insecure. Wiives are also aware of wrong doing by their husbands and this cause rift between them. I have seen it. I agree that finding purpose and meaning in work is important and also important to practice exercise, proper nutrition and sleep.
Quintina – Self Care 2
ReplyDeleteCreating connection with God, less burnout is absolutely necessary, because it God’s people and God’s work. I also agree that factors outside of faith are driving many to burnout. Confusion of role identity with self- image – derive too much self-esteem from what they do. Self-esteem should come from what God has done. Administration overload – is this in relation to church management, if so share the burden, seek wisdom. Solomon had a dynasty, yet he found so much time to indulge in wine, woman and ungodly practice. Seek wisdom. This one was troubling, Depersonalization – development of negative and uncaring attitude towards others. Is this why so many pastors behave this way! Pastor Prince, every pastor should read this. Something must be done. This is mind bothering. All pastors, leaders, people of God and professional should respect the temple o f God- Taking care of body, soul, mind, soul and spirit has now become critical.
Quintina – Self Care 3
ReplyDeleteWhat was significant from this reading was the information concerning pastor’s wife and children who have to display such high standards which are often expected. For many years a bad precedent has been set. I don’t know by whom; however people both inside and outside of the church scrutinize pastor’s family, especially children and expect such high standards. I agree that congregation should not expect more or less than any other member of the congregation. Remember is an office the person holds. Their families are not children of the office, but the person.
Quintina – Self Care 4
ReplyDeleteThe video was very informative and realistic. I learned that the very nature of ministry means that there would be conflict along the way. Conflict + depletion + isolation = trouble. Conflict one will always have, but depletion and isolation must be addressed. The strategy of the use of the ABC’s (Abide, Breathe, and Connect) was beneficial. Spent time to connect with the Lord and His word is absolutely necessary. This is an essential part of pastoring. Having a Sabbath is necessary for everyone, especially pastors. Connecting with people, having friends who can pray, who love the pastor, one who the pastor can vent his feeling to, people who can speak though things into pastors live (member can do this, pastors are to big headed). They would need other pastors. I believe a pastor can have a fisherman as a friend; probably he can take his mind away from church and learn about fishes or fishing. My former pastor gets his relaxation on the sea. He always talks about his fishing friend and he is not a pastor. In all I think pastors need to have friends and support group.
I would also like to add to this article’s recommendations. Too often young professionals are encouraged to pursue career accomplishments and milestones while young without sufficient consideration for individual context. Eccl 12:1 advises us to remember the Creator in our youth because it will be more troubling to do this later on. I find the push for promotion often drags the family in the wake of the sailing ship.
ReplyDeleteProtecting Privacy. I have preferred to live nearer to where we fellowship because it helps us to integrate our lives. Now I would caution myself against this because I do have a tendency to delimit engagements outside of family time. I also need to note my use of family illustrations and look away from using jokes about members.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSelf Care 3 A pastor's wife and children are not the ones called to office is the Pastor.The church requires to to much from the pastors children ,they also expect the wife to lead a lot of the ministries in the church.Their children are normal children and have lives to live ,to much pressure from the church sometimes causes the pastors children to fall away.Pastors must priorities things to avoid neglecting their families.These five principles are very important 1. Reserving Family Time. 2.Clarity Expectations. 3. Building Friendship 4. Seeking Help. 5.Protecting Privacy this is very important people should not go to the pastors home anytime they feel like it .Pastors have a life beyond church.
DeleteSelf Care 3 A pastor's wife and children are not the ones called to office is the Pastor.The church requires to to much from the pastors children ,they also expect the wife to lead a lot of the ministries in the church.Their children are normal children and have lives to live ,to much pressure from the church sometimes causes the pastors children to fall away.Pastors must priorities things to avoid neglecting their families.These five principles are very important 1. Reserving Family Time. 2.Clarity Expectations. 3. Building Friendship 4. Seeking Help. 5.Protecting Privacy this is very important people should not go to the pastors home anytime they feel like it .Pastors have a life beyond church.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSelf Care is vitally important in life and Ministry.We need to get adequate rest to refuel our bodies ,we cannot function in full if our bodies are not healthy.The work must be shared.Plenty hands makes the work load lighter.
DeleteMinistry Stress in my little experience in Ministry in the Church i felt a lot like the 90% at times.Due to the fact that a lot is not being done to train people but the demand is high.I have learnt in all you do you must strike a balance.This helps us to remain focus .Sometimes we have to slow down and realize church work is not a one man job.There must be a balance with Ministry,Life and Family.
ReplyDeletePastoral Self Care # 4 was excellent. It highlighted the fact that because Pastors are under pressure both internally and externally, it can lead to fatigue, frustration and burn out. Interestingly, the presenter indicated that conflict, depletion and isolation can lead to trouble or disaster for the pastor. As, a consequence he recommended the ABC approach which is abide, breathe and connect. This is crucial because as Pastors, it is necessary to spend quality time with God for personal development. It is improtant to take one day per week to rest and recharge oneself. Finally, Pastors also face challenges in life and as a result, it is imperative that he or she be able to rely on others to pray and encourage him or her in the Lord.
ReplyDeleteMinistry stress was quite interesting and it allowed me to understand some of the pastors I have encountered in the past. I am also able to understand why their families were dysfunctional. They did not recognise that they were not to try to do everything themselves and their family was not viewed as a priority. Because of this they experienced what I can now see is burnout.
ReplyDeleteI like Fredrickson's method to help pastors avoid trouble. According to Peterson, pastors are in trouble when they experience conflict, isolation and depletion. However Fredrickson states that conflict will always be there but isolation and depletion can be dealt with using the ABC approach thus helping the pastor to avoid trouble. The pastor must abide in the Word and get to know Jesus better. He must breathe or take a day off to as Peterson puts it to pray and play. Lastly the pastor must connect with family and friends. He or she must spend time with people who will be honest with them. This self care suggestion is one pastors will do well to heed.
ReplyDeleteThe order in ministry is God 1st, family 2nd and everything else after. However, many ministers change the order and what should be last becomes their 1st priority. Sometimes their family is not even considered. They try to do for themselves what only God can do. They fail to set boundaries which is to their detriment. They create a culture of dependency which inflates their ego so that they can get to the point on believing they don't need help. They arrive at a place where it is more about them than God but they believe they are successful.
ReplyDelete